If you time your pasta, you’re a chump.
My life is just an embarrassing mess: I was scrolling through my phone while my English professor was reading a poem and my finger slipped on a video of some hippie concert. Mind you, my phone volume was on full blast and the poem was about the American Indian condition. I was shaking for probably 15 minutes after that because it’s the first time in 3 years that’s happened to me.
I’ve been at work barely ten minutes and I’ve already had to deal with pushy fuckers.